Caffeinated Custom Seat Covers

caffeinated seat covers april fools

Add Some Zing to Your Drive!

At Ruff Tuff, we're always searching for new ways to enhance your driving experience. Our scientists and engineers have made us proud once again with the development of a completely NEW concept in vehicle interior accessories: Caffeinated Custom Seat Covers!

So many Americans find themselves reliant on caffeine to maintain alertness throughout the day. But for the busy person on the go, what if you simply don't have time to stop and chug your favorite form of "go juice"? Ruff Tuff has you covered!

Now staying alert and awake throughout your drive is a simple as sitting down at the wheel! Cutting-edge science has equipped our custom seat covers with a slow release topical caffeine substance, which starts working in as little as 5 minutes. Spend a little time letting your car warm up while you enjoy the rush of sweet caffeine all the way to work!

These seat covers are the perfect solution for truckers, night shift workers, road trips, or anyone who just needs a little extra zip. Some of the many advantages of using the Caffeinated Custom Seat Cover system include:

  • Zero Calories!
  • No more spills!
  • Hands Free!
  • Lipstick stays intact!
  • No dreaded "coffee breath"!

caffeinated seat covers april fools

Dress for Success

The caffeination of our Caffeinated Custom Seat Covers has been concentrated with a clothed individual in mind. Clothing moderates the dosage, so we recommend being fully dressed to benefit safely from the effect of the seat covers.

Here is are rough guidelines for use:

  • Full pants and shirt – up to 4 hours
  • T-shirt and shorts – up to 3 hours
  • Backless dress (full length) – up to 3 hours
  • Male in swim trunks, topless – up to 1.5 hours
  • Female in bikini – maximum of 15 minutes
  • Naturists – not recommended

custom seat covers

Is It Safe?

Our scientists have assured us that these Caffeinated Custom Seat Covers are completely safe when used properly. However, caffeine is not for everyone, so the following groups should avoid any and all contact with these seat covers:

  • Pregnant Women
  • Children
  • Individuals with Heart Conditions
  • Pets
  • Those with Sensitive Skin
  • People Diagnosed with ADHD
  • Patients Taking Certain Prescription Medications
  • Anyone Who is Sensitive to Caffeine
When you cannot avoid transporting passengers from these high-risk groups, we recommend covering your seats with a heavy-duty tarp, for safety.

WARNING: Do not lick the Caffeinated Custom Seat Covers!

caffeinated seat covers april fools

You've Got Questions?

Such an exciting new product is sure to raise a thousand questions! Here are answers to some of the questions we've received so far:

Do the seat covers smell like coffee?
The aroma of fresh-brewed coffee is a feast for the senses. Sadly, our scientists were unable to include this scent in our Caffeinated Custom Seat Covers. There IS a definite odor as a result of the caffeination process, but it is more of an acrid, sulfuric smell. This scent enhances the stimulating effect of the seat covers, providing another mechanism to maintain driver alertness.

I’m a long-haul trucker who spends 12 hours a day in the driver seat. Is it safe to sit on these seat covers for long periods?
For drivers who find themselves on the road for more than 4 hours, we recommend frequent breaks from contact with the Caffeinated Custom Seat Covers. We’ve found that a “4-on-2-off” cycle works best – 4 hours in contact with the seat, followed by 2 hours of no seat contact. This may mean wrapping the Caffeinated Custom Seat Cover in multiple layers of plastic wrap, covering it with a tarp, or pulling over and going for a nice, long walk. We recommend similar measures for anyone who feels like they just don’t need the extra caffeination at that time, regardless of their length of contact.

Anyone who experiences a racing pulse, blurred vision, or sudden difficulty maintaining a train of thought should immediately pull over and get off the seat covers.

2021 Tesla Model 3 custom seat covers

Are there any methods other than a tarp to prevent absorption of the caffeine?
We’ve found that full-body drysuits (scuba gear) also block the stimulating effects of these seat covers. Be sure to include rubber or neoprene gloves. We are still developing a Caffeinated Custom Seat Cover Cover and hope to offer it later this year.

I love the taste of Dr. Pepper. Is it okay to enjoy caffeinated beverages while using these seat covers?
As we're sure you're aware, caffeine can have very serious side effects if one overdoses. We recommend avoiding all other sources of caffeine for at least 8 hours before and after contact with our Caffeinated Custom Seat Covers. Be sure to question passengers about their recent caffeine intake before allowing them into the vehicle.

2020 Dodge Journey custom seat covers

Real, Uncaffeinated Seat Covers

When you're ready for real seat covers instead of our latest April Fool's gag, we still make America's Finest Custom Seat Covers™. Durable materials, custom-sewn in the USA, the perfect fit on your seats -- there's no substitute (and no added caffeine).

Click below to choose the fabric combination you'd like for your car, truck, SUV, or UTV.

Happy April Fools' Day!
 

Choose Your REAL Seat Covers